Interesting observations CE. Parenting my son led me to an a-ha moment earlier this year. Kids give us a chance to evaluate ourselves and our behavior and make changes for the better.
It's sad to read your posts about your relationship (or lack thereof) with your mother. I'm starting to realize just how important a boy's relationship with his mother is. I am the center of S4's world right now and it's quite amazing. I'm mindful of the fact that he is learning how to relate to women through his relationship with me.
It makes sense from a FOO standpoint that you would look to your GF or W to fulfill the maternal role that your own mother did not. It sounds like you've had a major breakthrough. How is your W responding to the changes?
Have you been searching for your birth family? Your feelings on the adoption and not having sibs are understandable. It's human nature to take for granted what we have and idealize what we do not have. I don't have a close R with my brother, but still I know he's there and I think I could rely on him if I was in serious trouble. But honestly, my friends have been more of a constant in my life. I remind myself of this fact when I worry about S4 being an only.
