I just wanted to pop in very quickly to give you kudos. I thought that was an excellent post.
This is something I've been investigating primarily in terms of my own life but I see patterns in others.
It's called "toxic shame" and it occurs in FOOs where there is a hypercritical environment and the child is constantly criticized.
Or in males, the father is completely emotionally and/or physically detached while the boy is under the harsh yoke of the mother, causing him to become passive himself with low self-esteem.
Or, as in Chrome's case, the father is a real SOB type abuser and the boy feels worthless with no healthy male guidepost. He grows up and his need for validation from some source (usually a female since males by culture usually don't open up to other males to soothe them). Boom. EA turns to PA and everyone is left hurting.
That's a male example but works same with females.
A female who is not being loved, cherished, or positively enforced by parents is left only to her own devices... soothes herself via shopping, addictions, attention from males... and generally expresses some noticeable narcissistic traits. And the emotional walls are firmly in place.
Gotta skeedaddle...
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
