No, I wasn’t upset at your comments, not at all. I was actually feeling a bit concerned for you, because what I see is the following: When you first began to post here, leading up to your D, you had a strong arrogance in your posts, but also a lot of subtle anger. Later that turned into a more rational, logical, philosophical tone, in which you brought out the alpha male ideas and the role of biology and chemical attraction in men and women. You had your role, your W had hers. You did your part, she failed.
That slowly morphed into an acknowledgement of the role that male emotions play in a woman’s feelings toward her man. A healthy level of jealousy is comforting to a woman, regardless of whether it makes logical sense. Now I sense you are trying to just accept your faults, and hers, as just the way things are, that it was fate, human nature, FOO, whatever, but there is little than can be done. So this latest turn to your subtle self deprecation.
What seems to be the common theme here? I may be wrong, but I still think the loss of your W hurts you deeply and I think you are doing all you can to avoid that pain. I think your rationalizations are all meant to avoid the pain that you are human and you are hurt, that you made your share of mistakes and lost your W. She made mistakes for sure, but neither of you knew then what you know now. I am sure both of you would do everything differently if you had it to do over again.
Which is my point. If both you and your W have learned and grown, why is it that a D must be irreversible? What is the point if living the rest of your life, suppressing the resentment that you had to throw away your dreams? Why torture yourself like that rather than learn forgiveness? What is the purpose of holding to higher morals if those morals make your life miserable? What good does self protection and defenses do if the prison you create blocks out your happiness? BTDT. Don’t make my mistake.
