Well, I just called her (had to make some arrangements about our D18's graduation tonite), and at first she was VERY quiet, I asked her what was wrong, and then she pretty much blasted me. Blamed me for the timing of my "bomb" and that I had ruined our daughter's graduation day, and how my wife had worked 18 years to get her to this day, and now she feels tired and bitchy and grouchy, and she "is ready to jump off a bridge."
I apologized for the timing of the e-mail, but NOT for sending it, and told her that maybe SHE could have waited, but I couldn't. She said "Sometimes you need to think of someone other than yourself," and I said "Actually, I'm starting to think that I haven't thought of myself enough." And I also told her that I, for one, was NOT going to let my tiredness and my sadness affect my personality one whit around our daughter tonite, or around the rest of our kids either, and told her that I expected the same out of her.
"a", she's tired -- we were up till probably 4am talking, and she had to get up at 6. "b", I think she's feeling overwhelmed, and confused, and I think she probably got some blowback from OM today as well (I can only guess). He could either be telling her that he's disappointed that she backed down from a separation and made her feel like crap, or she could be feeling attracted to him today, thinking he is her "escape" from all of this, and that makes her feel like crap too, because she knows that's it's eventually going to tear our family apart.
I do think she may have depression problems, and I told the EAP person on the phone that that was one of my concerns.
Man, NOP told me today "Next, she is going to pick fights with you -- do not engage." Damn, he's good. Choc.
