Think first..give your S the benefit of doubt

[peaceful_spirit]

Yup! And I think it takes an amazing amount of strength for us to correct thsi issue in our M. I mean, how hard is it to be intimate and completely let go and get into the sex thing when we know our H has been with someone else. But the fact is, it's a necessary part of rebuilding... as uncomfortable or scary it may feel for us. That's what I tell myself when I let those thoughts creep in.

Frankly, I used to view sex as an extra in a M.... something that isn't a necessity. MISTAKE. It is a necessity. That shift in mindset was a big move for me.