Duty, love, and attitude

[Crazy Eddie]

A minor emergency came up the other day; one of the kids needed to go to the emergency room "just in case".

She said "I really appreciate you being here with me". She didn't need me; she could have handled it herself, and the kid mostly wanted his mom (I suppose that's what normal kids are like when they're hurt), so I was taken aback for a moment. What good was I doing by tagging along?

Well, I was being calm. Joking with the kid, keeping him awake, even though he was rolling his eyes at me most of the time. I knew he wasn't in serious danger; I'd gone through the same thing at his age. I wasn't worried or angry about missing work. I was in a good mood; not callously so, but simply with the attitude that we could deal with whatever came up. And that was precisely what she needed. Not the bundle of nervous energy worrying about every little thing.

I was her rock. It was a lot of fun, to tell the truth, even though we weren't exactly doing something enjoyable. Why didn't I try this a long time ago? And it's amazing how well it worked, and how quickly she picked up on my attitude and drew strength and serenity from it. A woman is like a Motie Mediator. If she can see you, she can read you. If she can hear you, she can read you. If she can read anything you've written, she can read you. If she can see anything you've done, she can read you. There's no sense even trying to hide your emotions or your attitude around her... she'll see it. You've got to be the person you want her to see, inside and out, and let her respond to it. It can be unnerving to be under her microscope like that... or it can be an exciting opportunity to be your best self around someone that totally gets and appreciates it.

You don't have to be a "meathead" to be her rock, her "alpha male". You don't have to give up any of your intelligence or even your weird interests and habits. You just have to give up your insecurities and your resentments. Those things don't do you any good anyway.