That's a REALLY good post -- thanks. You're very wise.
I have definitely done this -- put my wife up on a pedestal. For the first time last nite, I can see how that wasn't a good thing. (I did tell her, tho, that I only complimented her so much to try to please her, that I certainly knew she wasn't perfect. I told her "Look, I know you've got 10 great qualities an 10 not-so-great ones, and yeah, I would always give you a lot of praise about the 10 great ones, in an effort to build up love deposits. But I do NOT think you're perfect!").
My daughters now do this too -- my wife has the three closest adults in her life trying to please her all the time, and cater to her, and make sure she is happy. And in the process, she ain't happy at all, because it's only fueled her self-loathing that she's so flawed.
