Blackfoot, while I agree desire isn't the be-all and end-all of a marriage (marriage is much more) I "get" mourning its absence. I would myself. It wouldn't be enough to leave, or break up my family over, but it would be a constant dissonant in the symphony.
What I don't get is this mixture of inertia and complaining that cemar has demonstrated for years now. If you took a post of his from 2003 and pasted it over a post from 2007, it would look exactly the same. He's like a broken record, and it pi$$es me off.
Cemar, you have two ... no make that three ... choices. If you want to see if there's a spark still left in your marriage, post details and let the wise posters here help you. The one thing you have going for you is that your wife used to be HD in the past. You're trying to recover something that got lost, not build a whole new person. That should be easier.
If you think no matter what you'll do, nothing would change, take a hard look at yourself, your wife, and your children, and your life, and figure out what you want to do. Be a man about it. Own it. Do it.
Or you could keep doing what you're doing now. Nothing. Whine about what other people/HD women do and your wife doesn't. Whine about how life and marriage without desire is meaningless. In which case I, sometime in the very near future, may be tempted to bite your head off.
If you want to go with the first option, you might start by picking the two most important items from the list as GEL suggested, and tell us how you have tried to communicate them to your wife, and her response.
