I am sorry as I don't recall how long H has been gone...but beside that let me give you another side to what you are thinking... His reconnecting is good...his question about your changes and what would happen if you stayed friends is him testing the waters...seeing if your are "for real"...you see if you are making the changes to "win him back" then if he doesn't come back and you return to your "old self" you REALLY DIDN'T MAKE ANY CHANGES...so the correct answer would be:
"I know it seems like I am making these changes for you but really you just made me take an honest look at myself...all these changes are for ME and ones I am proud of...I will continue to work on myself regardless of what you do."
And of course I would hope that is why you have made the changes you have...
Also, don't worry about what he might say to you "face to face"...I can tell you that up until just a few months before my H moved back to the area he was still telling me that while we could remain friends there was NO WAY he could ever live with me again...he even broke down and told his sister all about OW and wanting to marry her...this was also a few months before he and I started reconnecting...in total he was gone over a year and a half...but in his heart I can see now where he was "gone" much longer then that...
So encourage him to say what he wants to say to you...keep your faith in yourself...be strong...and continue on in your journey...this in itself will have the most profound effect on him...and the best possibility of his return...
You must remember...this isn't all about "getting him back"...this is about becoming the person you want...so that given the right man (which could or could not be H when you are all done)you are ready to build a lasting marriage...
Keep the road home paved...keep a safe place for him to come to you...
Oh...and just for the record...sometimes it is best for us to act "as if" about comments that they make about our CHANGES...this way it doesn't so much appear to them we are doing this as a "trick"...comments like "this is really who I am"...or just a "thank you, I have been working on that for myself....glad it is finally showing"
So take heart...your doing good that he notices...good that he calls....good that he comes by...and good that you all are doing things together...
