Coupled with all of this self-doubt is the knowledge that a loving, stable family life that makes her feel secure is one of the biggest cards that I have to potentially play, and yet our finances are a mess . . .
Hmmm... I was in *exactly* this position almost 12 months ago. My W was heavily lost in an EA with a younger guy, and I was holding the stable family card yet our finances were shot, too. I don't have too much advice to give (as I'm sure I did everything the very wrong way) although I can share my story briefly...
I fought and fought and fought for my W as hard as I could until I began to think whether it was all worth it. I wondered where it was all getting me - all this positive action when she didn't even really appear to want me to fight for her.
I turned a big, blind corner there - I think I actually said to her that that was it... that I wasn't going to fight for her anymore because it was becoming clear to me that I wasn't what she wanted. I truly saw a future for myself without her and I was close to being excited about it.
And you know, once she saw that in me (I mean REALLY saw that in me) I believe she realised that she was about to lose me for good and we started to swing the whole situation around. Admittedly, my other thread shows that normal service hasn't quite resumed just yet, but I believe it's only a matter of time, and right now things are better than they have been in a long, long time.
But part of me still feels a tiny pang of loss - not over her, but of that exciting future without her that I glimpsed.
Anyhoo, what I guess I'm trying to say is keep fighting until you can fight no more... and that's the point where you'll truly discover where your life is gonna take you.
And whatever happens, rememeber that YOU will be fine.
Or something. (Sheesh, just tell me to shut up anytime! ;o) )
