More deep breaths. Detach from the outcome of what you fear might happen with your W's fog. Focus on the present. Today is no different than what was happening last week.
But it is!! I keep girding my loins, and getting the courage up to "1st", send the e-mail, then "2nd", talk to her face-to-face, and each time I feel like I've won a victory, I'm then faced with her deceit and her obvious attraction for this other, YOUNGER guy. I think I start to get ahead, both tactically and emotionally, and then I'm kicked in the balls and I lose the ground I've just gained trying to take the hill.
Coupled with all of this self-doubt is the knowledge that a loving, stable family life that makes her feel secure is one of the biggest cards that I have to potentially play, and yet our finances are a mess . . . the extent to which she doesn't even know yet (another one of those subjects that she doesn't want to "dwell" on, or even seem to know about). I feel like once she knows all of that, I'm screwed.
