That's just it. When I thought she was being honest with me, "wanting to stay with my wife" is what I wanted. When faced (and punched in the gut) with her lying and the words of her feelings for the OM, I'm not sure at all if I do.
How do I reconcile that?
There's this voice in the back of my head that keeps saying "You fool! YOU are the one who's been sex- and affection-starved for most of your marriage, NOW she's cheating on you, and YOU want to SAVE THE MARRIAGE??? What a joke!"
This is completely understandable. You're in shock. You need some time to let the dust settle, come to terms with what she's done, and sort out your own thoughts.
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this, but you ARE dealing with it. You're doing it. Breathe. Eat. Take care of yourself.
