Wow, did those comments pay off more then I hoped for.

Hi Cobra

I am sorry I have not responed to a few of your last posts to me. I wasnt ignoring you, just been busy.

I liked your advice to heather, but thought the advice to Chromo (and corri's too) sucked. \:\) Ok I feel better now.
I agreed with your comments about gottman, that the woman needs to be able to have some affect on her H. Thats the thing that I have to work on. Its tough to see where 'caring for' stops and placating starts.

I wasnt being a victim, I was accepting what is. Im taoist dontchaknow? Actually that wasnt really my intent either, yes that kind of push can be victimish. Done too much. Like I was telling Choco, that sort of comment is not usually looking for a solution, its looking for a reassurance. You did give me a solution however, and a pretty accurate and well thought out description of what happens. It was actually GELS comments that incited me to post that along with SG's comments. I was hoping to engage SG in some dialogue, but Mojo threw a wrench in it by cheekily pushing it back. Frankly she is such a handful, im surprised her H isnt still in the pokey recovering his masculine energy.

Im trying to reconcile some issues in my mind right now, that run along the female version of madonna/whore. we need a name for that...well call it ... jerk/provider. I think everyone has this to some extent, but its all perception. For example, GELS H sees her as the madonna, but Ill bet her previous bf(s) saw her in a differant light.


SG And of course you realize that I must take offense at your classifying my intelligence and intuition as "unknown". Don't they just shimmer through my posts? Sheesh
Ive offended you? I *should* probably apologize then.

But not today.
Im too pleased with myself for being able to offend you. Its not all that easy to do with someone so intuitive, intelligent and secure. \:\/

Mojo

ohhhhhh that kind of pilgim. I was thinking Plymouth rock, and hats with buckles and blunderbuss's.

It wasn't even apparent to me how high-maintenance my X was (or how high-maintenance I allowed him to be) until he was gone. I am much better able to care for MYSELF now in many ways including making more effort with my appearance and overall physical health. For instance, I can transfer the mental energy and physical effort I previously used taking care of all the tasks on the cranky little notes my X would leave in the kitchen in the morning to considering which fake tan cream would work best for me and taking the dog for a power walk

Lack of boundaries. of course its easy outside of M. It was one of the things he asked of you, for a long time, though probably not in a way you wanted to hear it. nuff said. when you lose weight, breasts typically do become smaller. An observation is not always a criticism, you know.


At least when you're "topping" someone's "top" you are tending towards upwards movement and growth, right? Really there's no reason why it can't be a collaboration rather than a competition.
This is true. It *should* be something to appreciate, that your woman focuses in on every one of your faults and wants to fix them. (much like encouraging your woman to take care of herself should be appreciated) A womans idgitty vibe doesnt feel very much like a collaboration, nor do tears, clinging, nagging, screeching.

Sometimes though, its nice to be imperfect and accepted also, expecially when you spend much of your other life busy 'topping tops'. A W *should* appreciate that her H doesnt think he needs to tend the fences. Now that we are done with shoulds, lets deal with reality.
I e-mailed him back "To be completely honest, I was kind of relieved when you didn't show up because I am already dating too many men and I'm starting to get freaked out and confused."
LOL. Now thats the kind of brutal honesty that I can get behind 100%.

I mean, when in the course of a real sexual encounter would a guy stand sideways to show off his erection? Although it would be quite hilarious (Well I dont normally let you sucker me in to answering these things, but Ill let you this time since its funny and not erotic. And no more telling the guys, they are responsible for you diddling yourself. It freaks them out.)

You mean guys dont do that? Why not? Its funny. For example after we get out of the shower, I love to throw my wet towel over my woody to use as a drying rack. That usually gets a laugh. Its also an effective way to carry the towel into the bedroom, since hands are busy elsewhere. Then you can place it underneath her to prevent the argument over who sleeps in the wet spot. Always the gentleman.
After throwing her on the bed, pausing to take a moment to look in the mirror while doing your best super hero pose, then twisting your hips back and forth, to make your wang slap slowly slap back and forth, while saying something like, 'How did you get so lucky to get some of this' is also pretty funny. Personally, I dont get the AFF thing, IMO a guy would have a whole lot more success with ......(fillintheblank_________seriously, Im not helping anyone wih that)...... then some headless c**k shot in a poorly lit room. Probably giving what they want to recieve is my guess. shrug.


Honeypott... hahahaha welcome back.
Let me get this straight.

Your wife's judgement is so stellar that she chose to have an affair and flip flop back and forth culminating in divorcing you on your birthday and yet HERS is the opinion that you hold onto as gospel truth?
Well since you bit, I do actually have some beachfront property to sell. Its a good price, since you will have to wait for the artic to finish melting. your getting in on the groundfloor.

I never believe women. It would be tooo.... respectful.... ;\)

The fact that you are even dwelling on her comment just tells me how ready you are for a relationship,

HAAA!!! See you DO agree with her. HAAA!!! \:\( Ill have no choice but to enforce another 18 months of superficial R's on myself now. Its all your fault. \:\/ actually I wasnt dwelling. Like I said, I dropped the anger a while back. Its nice to be able to look back and just observe, what was, with no longing, nor any anger.

you just need wise women like me and Jenny to come along and point it out to you.
Yes. Just what every man needs. a couple of cows wisely chewing their cud, in his life. \:o


SG

It's not exactly news that even highly intelligent people can make bad judgments, have blind spots, their own prejudices, etc.

This is especially true for someone retroactively trying to justify something they feel guilty about.

Well there it is. Thats my diamond right there. Thats what I was looking for. I think Ill pause and look at it again.

Quote:
It's not exactly news that ....people can make bad judgments, have blind spots, their own prejudices, etc.


GEL's remark about always trusting her gut, nearly drove me to distraction. I was just imagining all the WAW's reading that-- nodding. Yep I should trust my feelings. Hmm. The same feelings that drove you to hook up with your H in the beginning? or the feelings that are encouraging you to leave. or the feelings for OM? HMMM. Dont get me wrong. Feelings are valid. That doesnt mean we should always act on them.

However since there is no arguing with feelings, I thought it would be much more effective to have you ladies say it for me. Besides its been a while since I had any fun like this around here. Frankly I thought Mojo had ruined my fun when she volleyed back my initial serve. Your pesky. I dont know how your H handled you for 20 years. I may have to research this cranky note idea.

LFL
You're not a beer to slam.
I have to say, the two years it took to get that, make it all the more satisfing. Since I know that will be the last one, I am going to sit here and savor it for a moment.
By the way, if I were an itinerant little boy, I would really like the style with which your post was delivered. \:\) .

Mojo
Crimeny. How many contradictions can you have in one description of your sister. A high bandwidth, bisexual, does not arrive there via monogamy and LTR's. LOL. Wide bandwidth does not assure compatibility. Apparently you have wide bandwidth and your H's particular idiosyncracy, was outside yours.
Although her personality sounds very fun, not only is she too short, Im not seeking a LTR. Its also not possible for me to be attracted to someone I havent seen, heard and watched move. Body language and vocal tonality (#1)are more important to me then big boobs, and even override facial attractiveness. I have a 5'10" and up preferance, minimum 5'8 rule for LTR's. I stopped seeing one girl just because I couldnt deal with her hands. Yep. Im that shallow.

Im very curious about your innate drive to see the little boy.



Quote:
dunno, Mojo. I think at the bottom of his little heart, BF's really strait-laced.



hahaha.
HAhaha.

HAHAHAHAHA.
LMFAO.

OMG.

Every time I try to respond to this.... HAHAHAH. ok ok...
enough I can barely breath, and my cheeks are going to break. I havent laughed so hard in a loooooong time.

Thank you SG. That was very sweet of you to say that. I'm going to save that. Fortunately we are judged by our actions. At the bottom of this icebox, SG, there is only the call of the wild. If your trying to extract examples to the contrary, its not gonna happen.