Forget about my infantalizing comments. That was just a stab in the dark. She loved you for some reason even though you wouldn't give her sex or a baby. I believe you when you say that you want/wanted kids. Imagine how that must have messed with your wife's mind to be married to a man who wanted kids but not enough to actually have sex with her. Since she's 40 and feeling insecure about her ability to attract a man sexually she is probably planning on using a sperm donor or IVF.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
