It occurs to me, upon further reflection, that OM may not necessarily be saying "be honest about us." He may just be encouraging her to be honest with me about her need for "space," or perhaps a lack of feelings for me anymore, or just her overall unhappiness. (But if she told him that she'd already sent me her reply to my e-mail, NONE of that would have been something that she would have had to be "bold" about -- it would have been stuff I already knew.) He may just be trying to get her out, on her own, and away from me, so that he can move in.
Still, she is lying to me, at a time when our entire family is in crisis. I will put up with just about anything (to a fault). I put up with 3 years of no sex, and 5 years of ML 2-3x.
