Quote:"You just don't "see" them anymore because they never altered over the years in the way that MrsNOP's sexual response to you did."
Maybe so.
I don't want to introduce anything much more strange than I already have, but here we go.
I married MrsNOP because I loved her, but I was never infatuated with her, nor she with me. We both burned all that potential out living with each other before we were married. Much like you and your husband decided to get married due to pregnancy, we decided to get married because I thought it was the right thing to do, and MrsNOP basically went along with it.
She had to have loved me or saw some potential in me because all I did while we lived together was fool around. I gave her about 2% of the attention she deserved (and needed). One day she decided to leave me and go home, and she did. I had an "ah ha" moment and realized that I actually cared for someone. An altogether new emotion for me. Like I said, I was a tad emotionally underdeveloped.
So I did what anyone of my maturity and experience level would do, I immediately called up an old f-buddy and went to see her. I spent the night not actually touching her. Instead I spent the night thinking about MrsNOP and slowly but surely realized I had royally screwed the pooch and had really worked myself into a corner. I mean here I was, the worlds greatest player (estimated by my then hugely inflated ego), in love. It really did surprise me to the point that I was dumfounded.
After a couple of days, I realized that I had really had enough of the life I was living, so I cleaned myself up, drove to her hometown, and persuaded her to come back to me.
Soon after that we were married, and we both pledged not to repeat our parents mistakes and our previous ones. For the most part, we succeeded.
If you had asked me what a "need" was before I married MrsNOP, I would have told you "sex and a million dollars". I don't think I changed my mind on that for a long time
Like I said, I did the right things to be a good parent, I even did some things with MrsNOP, but for the rest of our marriage (up until the advent of my marital education), I did what I wanted to do. I pursued my career, learned to fly, fished, traveled, etc.... As far as I was concerned, other than sex. I met my own needs.
In all honesty, as far as I know (and likely due to my youth), I never LET anyone meet my needs outside of sex until MrsNOP and I reconciled.
Recently, MrsNOP and I were out on a date (something we have started doing in the last year), and I looked over at her while stopped at a traffic light and burst into laughter. It just seemed to be so absurd to me that this woman sitting next to me was married to a bachelor. The humor of it is that I have now become such an accomplished husband, but I am still so new at it that the paint is still shiny.
Like I said. I understand it technically, and I can still read people and situations well (left overs from my past). That is my only claim to fame except that now, most of it makes sense to me.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
