W moving out & says that it's permanent - Part 3

[MJontheMend]

I knew she wasn't leaving you "just" for the sex and that she wasn't having an affair when you posted that she had gained quite a bit of weight since your break-up. Rule of thumb for a woman having an affair is that she does stuff like start waxing her legs NOT gaining weight. She almost certainly has left you because she wants to have a child. Being childless she probably transferred some of her maternal feelings to you and therefore it has been difficult for her to make the break. If her fertility is marginal the fact that you went "months" without having sex with her probably did infuriate her. Also, she may have been saddened by the fact that her sense of her femininity was being threatened both by the fact that she wasn't a mother and the fact that you didn't find her sexually desirable. She has gained weight since your breakup because she is dysfunctionally "mothering" herself by overeating for comfort. If she is old enough to be near her last chance for a baby that will be the issue she will concern herself with before her sexuality. She doesn't want you to know where she will be living because she sees you as some sort of threat to her ability to nest, perhaps just because she has the tendency to infantalize you in a way that depletes the emotional energy she could give to the task of having a real baby.