I let my Ex go first and commented where when and where appropriate.
The counselor listened and worked with both sides of the equation.
She dissagreed with me on one main point... That I shoudl force my daughter ro go be with her mother and her BF even if she doesn't want to...
She provided the example that My daughter could refuse to go to school I would still make her go.
The counter-point to that is School is not something my daughter has a choice in... Spending time with her mother and her BF is.
I do agree that if the BF is a permanent fixture she will need to accept him but she does not have to like him.
She did agree that my Ex needs to change some things for the short term to repair communication with her daughter.
I scheduled my daughter in for an appointment in the next 2 weeks.
Afterwards my Ex and I had a sitdown coffee talk.
I told her how much I had enjoyed the last few days of funny banter with her... even as I enjoyed it I couldnt help wonder if this all there was...
She replied "I wondered the same thing"
I asked her if she was really happy now that I'm not in her life.
She answered "I'm happy when the kids are with me... A lot of time I go to my house and there's no one there and I wonder why did I come here... Im generally ok theres just something missing"
I repleied "I understand that very much... My house is just a house... I like it its a nice house... but its not my home... my home lives in (insert my ex's neighbor hood)
I told her about my regrets for the past year and felt a litle sad.
She commented I just want you to be happy... I think Im bad for you you get sad around me...
I backpedaled quickly and said its not that... I'm happy with my life... I love my job I like my friends and the things I do...
Im not sad I just wanted you to know I felt sad about my actions and that your missed... ( this wasn't said in a pressuring way tho likely it was )
"I'm walking a narrow ledge right now... the wind could blow me eitehr way easily on one side is Divorce and I could do it and go on with my life and be fine and on the other is you... I would rather be with you more then the other... which is why I haven't just done the D"
My ex had to go for an appointment... I offered her a hug... whch she took... but she wondered where that came from if it was just friendship or something more... "Are we just friends... is that good enough..."
I was unable to answer that right at that time... I thought about it as I left... and decideded it was friendship I'm not in any place to offer more.
