Husband, I agree with Olive. Learn from my mistakes do not make any demands, this always drove my W further away and back to the OM. Not that I have had much hope over the last five months but the two times that I thought we hit bottom and were actually going to start working on our M, I told her that she needed to quit her job, start MC, etc..... It did not work. I do not know the right thing to do in my sitch, but I do know what has not worked. BTW, I did do the letter thing when I asked my W to leave. She did not see it at first but she mentioned it to me a few days later - it did not work. It did not make her think "What I am doing is wrong". I actually think the letter had no effect what so ever on her.
