I've been a little absent because I forgot to add my new thread to my favorites list.
Frank,
I hear ya man but I gave up trying to fix my W a long time ago and I'm not going back there for anything. I tell you the best thing I've got going right now is a 180 that I did as of a week ago. Things were getting pretty intense around the house with my bringing up the R at bedtime a few nights in a row. That's a big No No! The last thing you want to do is bring up the problem and smear it all over each other right before going to sleep. Dang I'm a slow learner.
Well I have'nt brought up the R, have'nt complained about anything and it's getting much warmer. I'm a man, no fear, no cower, a rock, steady, and sure. We went on and annual camping weekend with friends last weekend and she treated me better than she has on that trip in years. Why? Because I treated her better. I gave her space to be who she is, feel how she wants to feel, and do what she wants to do. I took charge of certain things, and backed out of others.
The last three nights I wake up and find her near the middle of the bed, facing me, sometimes even right next to me. I touch her gently in certain places then move off, coaxing, and drawing her.
It's the right way. She wants to be drawn in, taken naturally amidst feelings of attraction, not "fixed". She's got it right, I need to be a man. Yesterday while she was at the kitchen sink I moved her hair aside and kissed her neck, then I moved away before she did. Other times I just let her pass without any touch, I know she expects it, but I just let her pass.
As inept as I am sometimes, I'm getting better. I'm playing to win. My confidence is still high. I'm learning the right and wrong ways to romance my W and she's guiding and teaching me. She wants it right, she wants it complete and fulfilling or she'd rather not have it at all. No this woman has her [censored] together. She's not settling for anything but the best, and that is what she's going to get. One cool, bad ass, wild, dangerous, passion inducing, hunk of manhood.
And when I have her, she'll be mine!
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I am so Happy for you and how you are pushing yourself to be a better person and get stronger. I will read more and post again soon. Keep up the great work. God bless...
I've been hearing the phrase "pull back" lately. I think it's a good descriptive phrase for the ebb after the flow. My W is ebbing today, PMS I'm sure. I'll tread lightly for awhile, but I'm no doormat. I hate this time of the month.
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Hey, will you give my H a huge kick in the a$$ for me. I would love to hear him saying what you did above !!!!! about playing to win! Not sure he's even in the game.
No, you're no doormat and just keep going like you were. Sounded awesome to me!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Oh, you better believe it. I'm getting my feisty self back -- watch out!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Just stoping by to say hi.. take care.
and a thumbs up smiley which they don't have here unfortunately