We wondered what we should tell our kids, and should we tell our families anything. We agreed that we will tell D20 and D18, not by calling some "family meeting" that will freak them out, but by bringing it up in context. (Ex: "What's with all the closed door conversations? You guys are acting strange," or "Why did Daddy send you flowers?" etc., and then saying "Well yes, you do need to know that we're working on some things with our marriage," etc. And tell S14 and S10 nothing at this time.
This kind of discussion about the kids' reactions to what they might be picking up in the house ( and how to handle it) is simply responsible stuff. My hat's off to both of you for putting this into the equation. You don't often read here about people considering what's going on for the kids.
You ( both) have my respect and best wishes for a successful outcome.
