So, I call the children's father today to ask him to take son to a follow up visit this evening that I was just able to get today and of course the answer is,"I will have to get back to you." He calls back 5 mins later with a I can't do this tonight, why'd you just tell me?

I might preface this with the fact that I do not like this person but he is hurting my children and I want to now ... gouge out his eyes. I of course am better than that but the idea does make me feel better right now...

The ultimate outcome is that he would be more available to his children.
Advice on the note please.

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I have worked very hard to eliminate emotions from conversations with you however, I thought that it would be helpful for you to understand that it is very frustrating to talk with you about things related to the children’s schedules, medical or dental appointments and general calendaring. I would never question their importance to you however they have themselves have questioned your availability for them.

No matter what it is, you are now so busy that your answer to everything is, ”I will get back to you”. This renders it virtually impossible to deal with you on matters as they relate to the children. Not everything with children can be scheduled days or weeks in advance to accommodate your schedule. Sometimes things are spontaneous.

I recall you as a doting parent, it is so hard to understand how this could change so much. Whenever I try to understand this change and help the children with their feelings about this I just cannot help but mourn the loss of the father that was always available rather than how things are for them with you at present. I have handled the majority of the Dr. visits, co-payments and prescriptions since 2004 but over the past winter you never inquired about the visits for pink eye on December 23,2006, the viruses and vomiting that kept the four of us awake for days or the colds. Yet you state that I do not communicate with you regarding the children.

I do not bring my feelings into this at all, just a general observation and your interaction or lack of with me concerning the children.

Please be more available to the children and their scheduling in the future as it makes them feel secure.