Sashaying thru Seperation III

[mcojh]

Theo I know enough of your sitch if you don't post it soon I will. I have a journalism background and I am likely to add some details for entertainment.....and I have a vivid imagination.

[lovelyolive]

Oh no.. you're not some National Enquirer reporter are you?!

[SuperDad]

I talk with MC a lot. Frank a little.

Glad you've got the support you need! Also glad that you've got another job (even if it is as hectic as your tone makes it sound).

I'm sure MC gets a lot out of your talks as well. Somehow I feel that your soul is much older (and wiser) than your body makes you appear.

Take care of yourself, SD

[mcojh]

Not to interupt the whole Theo lovefest, but yesterday was once again a hard day for me in a lot of ways.

W showed up at 4 to pick the kids up. She was real chatty, which is hard because it starts to suck me in. I did ok and didn't become sucked in. She had been at an appreciation luncheon for work, and she told me about all the cool gifts they got. I did walk out wit her to see the gifts.

I still cannot figure out if she is really interested in me or if she is playing me to relieve her guilt. Anyone know how to tell the difference?

[lovelyolive]

Hey... I think she is treating you like a friend; someone that she still cares about and wants to share things with. So what if some of the nicesness is due to guilt. It's her choice how to act toward you. It sure beats arguing all the time doesn't it?

[Dr LOve]

Mcojh

I think if any of us knew how to tell we would not be here.

keep uour gaurd up but enjoy the attention. I know the grass always look greener onthe other side but I wish my W would even fake being interested inme right now

[~Sol]

MC, this is what I have found out....as long as she is not being remorseful, and not having any R talks the she herself initiates, then she is just playing down her guilt, or hiding it. But not necessarily playing YOU.....I think she acts this way because she is still confused......and is "trying to make a happy home".

This is just me, but I would just go along with it, let her see that YOU are GAL, interesting, the whole DB thing.......

Until she shows some signs of being remorseful (and ending her A, getting back to the M, etc), she is still in the fog.

But that is just me. I have some resentful feelings about my W still, trust issues, etc. But I have been told those are normal.

I am trying to go with whatisis's advice and learn to be loving. Let our S's see what they will be missing. Hard to do, isn't it?? I have my bad days, but I know what I want out of this.

You and I are kinda in the same boat, our W's are still there, but I haven't been following up though with your sitch. She's still there at home with you?

[mcojh]

That's the weird thing. We have only argued once or twice to the point that it was heated.

I guess you are right though, she could be choosing to not talk to me except about kid stuff.

Thanks for the perspective.

[Dr LOve]

mcojh

Are we never happy? It seem those of us who’s spouse in always yelling and angry wish they would just calm down and act civilized
Those of us who are spouses do not yell or angry wish that they would at least then you could get a reaction from them and justify your feelings...

H

[SuperDad]

MC,
I agree with Sol. I am in exactly the same boat: W and I don't fight. Since I started LRT in March, she is very relaxed around me, we do stuff as a family, and W&I have even been out together just the 2 of us. However, she still is unwilling to even discuss trying to repair our M.

All I can say is that it took years to get where we are, so it is not reasonable to expect a quick resolution. Someone once told me that a positive outcome will take on average 1 month per year of marriage (that's 15 months for me). Of course, a shorter resolution often means that the M ends in D, so I count my blessings that I still have a chance!

SD