It's not an easy place to get to, won't pretend it is....but for me, a great deal of it has to do with REALLY valuing yourself. I'm a mom too (have a wonderful 4yr old son) who works full-time outside of the home, and you're right...it is tough to GAL sometimes with all of the demands, but you can find small ways to do it. For me, I had to find some things that I could include my son in....like finding a gym that had daycare/activities available for him. It at least gave me some time to do something for ME. I'm also going to join a Dance club once a week at my gym...just for me. It's only two hours once a week, but it's two-hours once a week that I do something for ME, something that I enjoy, and something that is good for me too. FWIW, I can take my son with me as well...since this activity is at my gym and the daycare will be available. That leaves me free to participate regardless of my H's schedule.
As for the part of being genuine to yourself and letting them deal with whether or not they like it or not....you have to get to the point where it's "what have I got to lose?" Either you stay in your marriage as it is and keep the woman you truly are stuffed inside, dying to get out....and wait and see if things work out or not (still keeping her stuffed inside)....OR, you let her out and show your H who you truly are, you stop hiding away parts of yourself that he may not like, or that you are afraid he may not like....and let HIM deal with how he feels about it. That includes not rescuing him from his own feelings.
It's not an easy thing to do, but I hafta tell ya...it's one of the absolute best things I've done in my marriage. My H was uncomfortable at first with the free uncensored GEL, but now...I don't have to suppress her, I let her out there and it feels GREAT!
