I agree not much worse you can do..... But he is a Doc maybe while he is off talking to my W he lost a patient. Or maybe when his mind is on my W he is over looking soemthing that a Doc would normally not miss. This goes for my W also, she is a nurse and her carelessness can hurt her patients also. That brings up a question while my W is talking to OM on the phone is she really watching and paying attention to our girls?
Maybe I am giving them to much credit with being pond scum, does amoeba better describe our S?
This evening was eventful, nothing to do with my M but maybe it will have an effect on it.
My W had to work tonight and my 5D had t-ball, we where going to the kid shuffle at the ballpark and off she would go to work. Well when the skies opened up that was it for t-ball today so onto plan B. My W droped my DD's off at my IL's house and I picked them up there. While I was there my FIL decided to clean out his gutters and took a spill. He probably fell about 6 feet onto his head. It knocked him really good. A long story short I ended up in my W ER with my IL's. My FIL ended up with a couple of good cuts to his head and a concussion. I shouldn't have any expectations but I am hoping that my W realizes that I am more apart of her family then she thinks. I wasn't there for my W I was there helping my FIL and supporting my MIL letting her know that my FIL was going to be ok. I have to admit it was scarey seeing my FIL laying on the ground like that. He had no memory as to what happened and was unable to even acknowledge my MIL and me for a few minutes. Once he did start talking he told my MIL to get off him a few times and when we told him that in the ER he jokingly said that was proof that he wasn't thinking straight. He is doing fine, he will be sore for a while though. Now that it is over and everything is alright I hope this makes my W think about me and our M not being so disposable.
Ladies maybe you have some insight for me here. How do I start chipping away at the wall my wife has up between the two of us? How do I open up her closed spirit?
Rightnow we are house mates that do not even interact. We have to when it comes to our girls, but, she is very guarded about letting it go any further then that.
Last night I went and talked to a lawyer. From a legal standpoint I haven't done anything that will hurt me if we go down the road towards D. But there is nothing legally that can be done to force us into MC. I was really hoping that if I filed for LS that I could also force MC. I guess that cannot be done. Also our state does not have any mandentory seperation for a year before a D can be final. So if the process starts there is no stopping it unless my W has a change of heart.
What I am thinking of doing is asking my FIL to talk my wife into MC. The reason I say my FIL is that over the last couple of months he has come down on her a couple of times and both those times my W stopped what she was doing and did what he said. He may or may not have any influence on her at this point, but, I really am hoping that we can get infront of a counseler and start working on our M.
ERC-I am not a DB Lady, but here is my 2 cents. DO NOT enlist your FIL to force her into MC. MC only works if BOTH parties are engaged by there own free will. If she is forced there, it will fo no good.
What you can do, is GAL, Detach and keep a PMA.
Sorry for being a wet blanket.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I agree with MC.. I want to do the same thing - control the situation and MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. You can't control your wife. But, you CAN control how you react and act toward her. Maybe try to ask her questions about her day. Pretend that you are friends. What would you do/say? How would you act? Would you take things personally like you are now?
You cant' force anything.. Let it run it's course and act in ways that will make you proud later. Make sense?
MC, husband, I understand/hear what you guys are saying. I am just looking for a chance... It has been 5+ months and our M has not had a chance during this whole time. At onetime her C was pushing to get me to go with her to counseling. Now she tells me that her C is supporting her in her decision to leave me. From my point of view this is extermly irresponsible of her counseler to support this action without ever getting me into C with her. I also wonder if my W has the OM go with her to C to act as my fill-in. How messed up would that be? I do not know....I will just keep GAL and taking care of my DD's. If my W ever brings up another R talk I am just going to agree with everything that she is saying and not defend myself. I just don't see that conversation happening anytime soon.
