Yesterday I talked to a lawyer. I actually had the appt before H mentioned "D"....thinking that I needed to take care of myself and D16. MY big question was whether or not I could legally move out of state during our separation (I was thinking I needed to make a decision before school starts in the fall). H called me at work and learned I was taking the morning off. He then called my cell twice. I didn't call him back just because I couldn't think of anything nice to talk about. He ended up showing up at my work at lunch time!
He guessed that I was at a lawyer's and was upset. He wants to go thru a mediator and avoid the high cost of lawyers. I explained that I would still need a lawyer and most of the lawyers I talked to last summer wouldn't take the word of a meditator so we'd have to pay both. He kept saying "If you went to a lawyer you must think I'm trying to screw you". I told him "for once in the past 30 years I am putting myself first!". He then went on to tell me all about his friend who had to pay $70,000 for a divorce. I also think he came up with my proposed maintenance fee based on his xow's settlement. Great source of information!
One positive thing is he thought about us moving out of state. He said that would make it impossible to have a R with D16. I was "bad" and said I didn't think that mattered because he didn't want to do things with her now. He got teary eyed so I know he does care. I have to rethink the idea of a move because I do feel D16 needs both of us! I actually have a call into her counselor to help me make a decision.
Off to work. I am beginning to tell my friends. Hate the idea that reality is setting in. Being dillusional has it's benefits!
