Heather: I really am sorry that you are at such a painful spot right now. Been there, done that. What I'm trying and what you may try too is to start just thinking positive instead of letting all the negative seep in all the time. PMA huh? It's not easy w/ all the emotions swirling, but it's worth a shot.
I understand about the kids. I'm seeing first-hand how kids react when Daddy leaves. My H is now deployed for a year and we have 3 little boys -- 7, 3 & 1, and it's heartbreaking the emotions they go through. I am sure it would be very similar if Daddy were to leave by D, maybe worse.
You definitely need to address the porn issue, but maybe right now you just need to go back to the old basic DB'ing. That's what ended up bringing my H around. I just loved him, supported him, acted "as if" nothing was wrong and just showed him how very good he had it. He was bound & determined to walk. The only thing keeping him in the house was his impending deployment and wanting to spend the last bit of time w/ the boys, but he did end up coming around and things are very good w/ us now. Or at least I don't think D is an issue anymore anyway.
Maybe he's had time to think about things w/ you being gone. Go home and just act like everything is wonderful and see how he reacts. I agree w/ NOP on the D convo if it comes up. Let him know that that is NOT what you want and remember that anytime your brain thinks your mouth should bring it up again
When do you go home?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
