Piecing, 2 steps forward, one back, or more?

[25yearsmlc]

Hi All, Heyw and opt (Optim!! how are you??!! I'll catch up on your thread if you have one...)

Yep, I said the basics and H seemed a tiny bit freaked this am, then he was reassured. Even though hero said nice things this morning about our talk last night, I still worry that somehow h's partnership track has been derailed...but then, IF it has...oh well.

I just cannot actively continue to lie for h, although I don't have to go out of my way to confront the truth in front of others. It is in many ways, none of their business either. So far, I've gone along with his "public" comments, but added nothing to the version he gives them up there, although I do say that I was/am not willing to move d18 in high school....Today When h told me, (yes, ME) the #45th rendition of what took place the past 22 months, he said: "I thought the PLAN was to wait for d18 to finish HS and then you'd be joining me..." wth? (( "PLAN"?? you mean secret unilateral choices made like a single man without a family?? that PLAN??) All I could say was, "H, Are you high? Don't black out on me. I remember exactly how the "Choices" were made..." End of THAT talk...although he didn't get very mad, I think he was embarrassed or felt chagrin, but who knows?

So, that was that...end of talking. But I'll know this week if I suddenly don't get an offer OR, soon enought if h doesn't get his partnership. Actually, how can they make ME an offer and fire him??? Oh.... the irony of it all....nope, I don't expect/want that but it'd be weird.

In a way, since I know it wasn't thought out or intentionally punitive of me, just so tired and sad for my sister's h/family, and my own issues here. My d18 leaving and being so far apart--we were a family of 5 2 years ago and now, what??

But like I told hero last night, I could have picked up the phone 2 years ago if I thought forcing them to Not hire him, would have helped the M in the long run. I mean, I just couldn't see Forcing h to lose a job to get him back with us...No thanks.

Hero seemed to understand. But I've trusted people before, only to have totally misread them. Shoot, I guess it's all out of my hands now...

Maybe IF things crash down, it's a good thing. OR at least, now that some of the stuff is out in the open with THAT one hero/his wife, I won't have to pretend in front of them when I am up there. That would feel better to me, b/c although I resent the hell out of them in the sense that h chose that place with them instead of here with us, I also am "aware" enough to see that they are good people who just didn't know. In 2001 when H first applied for all this crap, and things were progressing, he eventually confessed we wouldn't be joining him ---and they withdrew the job offer, since most doctors don't last there without their families AND they said to h:"No job is worth losing your family for..."!! AMEN!!

(I told hero last night that I would have written a thank you note to him back then, but didn't want to seem like I was gloating to h. He seemed to understand. If I am wrong about him, so be it. But if I'm right about hero, then I have a good friend in him, and that is a good thing. He treats his wife well and she is good to him. I am told they are who they appear to be, so maybe the talking last night will end up being a good thing. I just let myself be vulnerable, so, wth? (sigh)

j-