Scary is a good way to descibe it. I'm scared like you wouldn't believe. If I get a place June 1st, split my check50/50, fortunately my job will direct deposit by percentage so I can drop 50% in her account and put the rest in mine, I really don't see how we will make it financially more than a few months.
In one of my other posts I talked about how she shredded us financially. I thought the mortgage was being EFT'd, but she was draining the money fast as it was coming in. The mortgage was 3 months behind twice in 8 months. Our van was repoed, all kinds of good times.
We are just now digging out. It took me raiding my retirement fund, working every hour of overtime possible and really enjoying P,B & J sandwiches for lunch everyday. I just kept telling myself that when I was a kid this would have been heaven as that is all I ever wanted to eat. Oh well.
Fast forward to now. I have everything running on an even keel and then she comes up with this? This is so screwed up, it pisses me off to no end to think about all the work and sacrifice just so she can blow it up again?
At dinner, we were getting the kids setup to eat and W got into a tiff with D11. I didn't hear everything so when I went over by the stove and away from the kids so they wouldn't hear and I asked about the tiff and what was going on. W says, "you already know what's going on, I think about everything all the time". I just said, 'yup, just sounded a bit intense for just being about wearing her shoes in the house', got my plate and walked back to the table. You know what? I hate that she is in this much angst/pain. I really do. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her I love her, but I didn't. I couldn't even give her a pat on the shoulder. Nada, zip, nothing. All I could think was, what did you think was going to happen? How did you think this would go down?
After dinner, I signed up to help out at my D9 and D6 field days. Helped get them ready to go to church with W, I'm home with S14. When it was time for her to leave she gave me a hug and kiss, both a little warmer than the last few weeks. Whatever. Up and down she goes. I'm just not riding any longer. Rather than ride the roller coaster, I'm like one of those people that stand down on the ground and wave when you come by. Screw that. If I want to ride a roller coaster I'll go to Great America.
