I agree that it is not the right time to discuss a possible EA. But, if Choc must, the best thing to do is to say something factual about himself, once, then drop it:
More or less this is where I was coming from. Stop trying to build a case against her with the snooping. The fact is, it will get you nowhere. I dont' suppose that you think that if you have mounds of evidence that she is having an EA, that she will....what? See that's the thing. What is your expectation? That she will instantly be recommitted to you and attracted to you?
Now, if you must mention it because it is like that elephant in the room, then take OT's advice. Be simple, direct, and keep it about you.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
