No, I am not happy but I am working towards that and I truly believe I will get there one day soon. Life is a journey, not always a nice one. I have been married for 18 years and most of them I would have to say were extremely unpleasant, to say the least. But I still love him and aside from the fact I have the same desire as you do (to be the "emotional sexy woman" I truly believe I am) it isn't going to happen right now, or even close to the near future. But, I guess I am willing to put my HD desires aside because when it comes right down to it, I am not about to give up all the other wonderful things about my H that I don't think I would ever find in just one man - he is definitely one in a billion _________________________________
I can see your points Heywyre but I don't know if I want to live the rest of my life in a SSM. And you even admitted most of your M has been unhappy, dealing with A's, the whole mess. Why do you put up with that? Love? To me that is not love. That is commitment (but only on your part). Don't you ever wonder what else is out there for you? A man who will love cherish and desire you without hurting you so much? I know no one person is going to be perfect but it makes me question what I really want and need out of life. Right now, I want my kids to have and mom and dad in the same house. So I plug away. But you are older now, and you still stay. I'm not questioning as much as thinking about what I am going to do when the kids are older. Will I still feel like I should be with H? Will it all be enough? I don't know. Just rambling. LFL
