Excellent! Glad to hear some of this is making sense and I appreciate that you here venting you inner emotions rather than spouting them out to her. This is a great place for that and the good people here will help you when you stumble.

I have faith in you.

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu