Choc, There's one thing I want to add here from an LD perspective, just to prepare you, just for you to store away in the back of your mind. Your W may need to feel the threat of you leaving in order to activate her sexual drive towards you and the drive to save the marriage. Right now she has the best of both worlds...security from you and excitement from OM. You are rocking the boat, which is a good thing, and you will show her the manly thing by your consistent and firm reaction, but the real motivator for her, in my opinion, is going to be coming from feeling the loss of you. When you are entrenched in distance for so long, it takes a crisis to get things going again. The good news is, if you weather the storm, your marriage will be completely different.
