Good god, how can I NOT ask that? Isn't that EVERYTHING????
I'm so confused . . .
As I just asked on the other forum:
Quote:
I'm sorry that I'm having such a hard time grasping some of these seems-to-me-to-be-contradictory things, but the 2 hours of sleep isn't helping any today.
But PLEASE help me understand the distinction between:
"Court your wife."
and
"Don't be needy/grabby/pour-your-heart-out," and all of the other advice I've been given.
I need an easy-to-understand "DO/DON'T" list, like:
DON'T: tell her -- again -- how much she means to you. She knows it, and you told her once. DO: SHOW her how much she means to you by fighting for the marriage.
DON'T: tell her how beautiful she looks today. DO: ????
DON'T: send her flowers anymore. Those were just to "mark your territory" at her place of employment anyway. DO: ????
DON'T: call her during the middle of the day (???) DO: ????
I'm really struggling with this. How do I show "courting" and "wooing" behavior, without it coming across as "needy/grabby/smothering?"
And remember, I've done damned near NOTHING for the past 3 years, so EVERYTHING is going to seem smothering by comparison!!
Choc.
P.S. I've also been told to "do what it was that attracted to her to begin with" . . . but I attracted her to begin with by being romantic, mushy, epathetic, romantic, caring, and totally UNlike the creep she was engaged to at the time!
