Wow - I am just bowled over. I've been waiting for you to reach this point. I know that things are difficult and scary right now but is just "going along and getting along" really less scary? You can do this.
DO NOT re-interpret Mrs. Choc's comments and emails - her meanings may not even be clear to her. I think you are getting terrific advice from Nop and BF and I do not for one moment believe that continuing non-confrontation is going to get your marriage anywhere. Ok - indulge yourself and spend fifteen minutes projecting the worst case scenario THEN realize that if that happens you will still be ok. You've watched people live out the "worst case" here and yet, they survive. Confronting Mrs. Choc, fighting for your marriage and not allowing her to continue the disprespect at least puts you in the position of not wondering if you "coulda or shoulda". I would give real $$ to have my H fight for me - in ANY way, EVER.
