However, the no sex thing began well before the EA. We moved into a big new 5 bedroom house on the beach at the start of 2004. Shortly after that, I unexpectedly lost a huge work contract (it was this contract that allowed us to buy the big house), shortly after that, our D3 was born, shortly after that, her dad was diagnosed with late stage cancer, shortly after that, he died, then shortly after that, the debt problems started and the house turned into a moneypit.
Sheesh. So that was a super-stressful couple of years for us both and I could almost, kinda, nearly, slightly, understand the no sex issue during that time...
However, I pretty much know exactly when the EA started (early 2006) a) because the signs of it happening were so obvious, and b) because she didn't have the computer access to make it happen, and c) because I work from home and she was at home with the kids, too, so I'd definitely have known if there was anything going on.
I'm also dubious about whether she even slept with this EA kid when she flew over. I'm not naive enough to fully believe that she didn't, but because of the way she is at the moment I'm also *not* entirely convinced that she did. I have asked her and made assumptions, but she'll not say much about it, except for "you don't know what happened when I went over there, so just don't assume anything", and as I said, she's still embarrassed about the whole episode, and I think some of the embarrassment comes from what might have happened during the course of that weekend...
Again, I'm not naive enough to believe this 100% but what I think happened is this: she flew over and met him, then thought "what the frock am I doing here in a hotel room with a 24yo kid when my husband and kids are at home", and the weekend took a bit of a nose dive from there on in.
The tone of the emails they sent afterward was weird. He really sounded like some immature kid, and she kept brushing him off until she was ignoring his emails completely. I know that she was ignoring him because his emails went along the lines of "so you're ignoring me now then?", and "I at least expected a reply to that last email" and so on and so on...
All this was last August-ish and I've kept a close enough eye on her to believe that they're absolutely not in contact any more. She also acted completely differently with me while the EA was happening - there was zero touching etc, etc, etc - that was one of the reasons why it was so obvious she was having an EA in the first place.
But you're dead right - it does sound odd that I can't touch her vaginally - I can pretty much trace my hands everywhere else when we're in bed apart from there... definitely odd, huh?
