SSM calling Blackfoot, come in blackfoot, Over

[MJontheMend]

Trust me I know how you feel. I dont want to let go of my entitlements either. You dont mind getting all gussied up now, but you want to be accepted for your pilgrim soul. (I always thought of pilgrims as being pretty anti-sex...) I understand a woman wants her man to be all he can be, but 'toping your top' is not giving the acceptance you want.

I think there are different issues at play when it comes to my willingness to get "gussied up" (a more accurate description would be what my sister's boyfriend said to me the other day which was "You're looking very MILF lately")It wasn't even apparent to me how high-maintenance my X was (or how high-maintenance I allowed him to be) until he was gone. I am much better able to care for MYSELF now in many ways including making more effort with my appearance and overall physical health. For instance, I can transfer the mental energy and physical effort I previously used taking care of all the tasks on the cranky little notes my X would leave in the kitchen in the morning to considering which fake tan cream would work best for me and taking the dog for a power walk. Also, you have to remember that I really didn't get consistently positive reinforcement for efforts I made in that regard from my X. For instance, "you should lose weight" comments followed shortly by "your breasts are smaller now" once the weight was lost. Trust me when I say that my ability to get consistently "gussied up" in a relationship is almost certainly directly related to the guy's ability to consistently make comments along the lines of "That new black dress makes you look totally MILF!" and act in accordance with his comments.

Pilgrims are sexy because a pilgrim is a wanderer boldly seeking a new world or a mecca. If a man loved me for my pilgrim soul, he would love me for the way my mind worked in forming and seeking my desires. Who wouldn't want that? However, I don't really see this as something that needs to be proved in the absence of being attracted to my physical presence. The two would almost certainly build on each other. My X didn't even like, let alone love, my pilgrim soul so it didn't matter a bit whether I gussied up my exterior.

I guess I see the "topping my top" issue as being sort of similar. If a relationship or interaction is positive and supportive then "topping my top" would simply mean adding another block to a secure structure. At least when you're "topping" someone's "top" you are tending towards upwards movement and growth, right? Really there's no reason why it can't be a collaboration rather than a competition.

20 notches doesnt take nearly as long so... if that works for you, best of luck. Just take matters into your own hands and bring your own jacket. dont rely on anyone else to ward off a chill.

I don't know if you meant that as a warning to carry condoms or to watch out for my bunny. You probably wouldn't even believe how bunny these Matchmen try to play me but I've got it under control. Although, I did have a sort of fit of free floating anxiety the other evening and I realized it was due to being bounced on the knee of too many strangers, like a baby at a family reunion potluck. This one guy stood me up and then e-mailed me some lame excuse about getting drunk at a hockey game and not being able to get a cab back to his car in order to meet me and I e-mailed him back "To be completely honest, I was kind of relieved when you didn't show up because I am already dating too many men and I'm starting to get freaked out and confused."

**pause to strut and flex in the mirror ** Gosh, you give me so much power.It would almost make me if it werent for the meglamanical complex your forcing me to have. If my head gets any bigger its going to attract orbiting objects. not. Nice try.
I wanted some more good stories and original analogies. I needed a laugh. So I had to make you. Im selfish like that.

LOL - Part of the reason I'm trying not to post so much lately is that if I share too many of my dating stories I'm afraid I'm going to become a sickening exhibitionist like those guys on AFF who post those headless penis in profile shots. (So unsexy because even women like me who are object oriented need some context. Also, so unnatural. I mean, when in the course of a real sexual encounter would a guy stand sideways to show off his erection? Although it would be quite hilarious.)