Okay, as you all know, the saga of LA girl, going up north to be Nanook, continues.
H's hero #1 calls me last night about details of the well paying but boring as [censored] (BAS) job I'll have there. Suddenly, I find myself telling hero that I never wanted to live there and that d9 does not want to and that our older kids are not happy with the way their father has made these unilateral choices....
Somehow, me and hero #1 CONNECT and talk with REALITY and he says he would never have hired h if he had known truth. SO I say, "I didn't call you to tell you that b/c I don't want to hurt H's career AND OR force him to return here, etc...." Then I give h some plug about being able to focus so well on goals, that he puts blinders on about "collateral damage" as in (destroying the 25 y M?) his R's with the kids and stuff like that.
I had a hard ass day yesterday with my sister (her h is dying of brain tumor, 2 kids, one of whom is weird and damaged and just tooooo sad) AND my own life and stressors and--you get the point.
I don't know what else I said. I didn't call H a liar or say he deceived me, I DID say I was seeing a Christian pro-M counselor (hero #1 is religious, and I like his wife) who helped me forgive h, or start to, etc. And that "I love the guy" (meaning h, not hero).
This morning I called hero to tell him to "erase" last night's call and he said "Why? I thought it was good. We should drive up to X together and talk on the way up and yes, still want to hire you," etc.
I asked h, this am, what he had told heroes. H said tiny little "truths" such as that I would "never live full time in Alaska" and would not come up "before d18 finished high school". True? Only in a legal sense. The REAL FULL truth is I said I don't want to EVER Live there AND no way would I move d18 again in high school...
SO now I guess I'll fudge some about the convo with Hero, when I talk to h. Act as if all is well and let hero #1 model what a good guy does. I actually asked hero#1 what he would do if HIS w wanted out of Alaska (and hero #1 is FROM there) and hero said, "I'd leave with her...."
Hero might become my hero....wish H would emulate hero in MARITAL ways, not just professional... What do I tell h, if anything? That I was "negotiating"? That's as true as anything h said... j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
