As much as we like to vent, sometimes we don't choose the best people to vent to. Give the guy a break, he's your brother and only wants the best for you, he wants you to be happy.
Ok, so why is it YOU that has to put the security deposit down? If she is the one that is wanting the separation, should it be her? Based on that analogy, get the car!
True enough regarding my bro. I have chosen to be very careful who I talk to, if anyone. In the case with him, he is insane in a fun, 12 years as a Anglico Marine kind of way. Want to bungee off a bridge, go rappeling, kayaking or anything else that might kill you? He is up for it if he hasn't already been doing it since 6AM, waiting on you to show up. When it comes to family, domesticated stuff? Forget about it. Literally, that is his answer. Some of his exact words are, "women are like a bus, another one will be along here in a few minutes". I have mentioned in previous posts the conversations with MIL, SIL & FIL. All were/are convinced she is nuts and has no idea what she wants or is in for should this go through. At first it felt good to get that validation from someone that one would think would be on her side. Now I see it as dangerous territory and I steer the conversation away as soon as it starts to go there.
Regarding the separation/car decision. You're right. Why am I sweating it? I don't know. It's her choice to pursue this,if she does. So let her figure it out.
One thing Chuck recommended was to have a few apartments that I had looked at, just to show a 180 in this area. My gut instinct is to tell her I'm staying until I get a court order that says I have to leave. When the original separation conversation happened I told her, "you can't stand there and in good faith tell me that they, (the kids), won't be affected. That this won't do some harm to them. That me seeing them on weekends or a few times a week will possibly be the same as what I have with them now". Her response was, I should have thought of that during the years I was messing up, and it will be hard but they will be okay.
Now, for me to take the steps to make it possible for me to leave would be a 180, given how often I have said I'm not leaving, we should not separate and it will hurt the kids.
