Alimari, Thanks. Not sure if you remember, but you have posted to me before. My screen name used to be "aid", but I changed it.
Phoenix, Strong? I guess I am. BUt frankly, sometimes I feel like I'm the only nut who would live through all that I have with H and still be here. Yes, there are positives. And I guess I should document them. Beucase I do have days when I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Cat, I like hearing from you. I have followed along your sitch a bit. I think I remember you from teh infidelity board way back when. And I read your post about giving the benefit of the doubt. I struggle with that. I struggle with trusting him at all. He has betrayed that trust so many times.
As for snooping, I guess I need to remind myself of this... I don't need to know everytime he has contact with OW (or if at all) as long as he is still engaged at home and acting like a part of the family. In the past when he would resume contact with her, he would withdrawl and start treating me crappy. I haven't had that feeling in a while (knock on wood). Do I really need to know everything or do I just focus on my M and hope H makes the right decisions.
THe problem is that I believe H may have a bit of a mood disorder. HE looks for rushes of excitement. He's got a very addictive personality. For example, he likes to gamble. Also this A totally got a hold of him. And even though he decided he didn't want to be with OW and he wanted ot be with me, he couldn't quite quit the addiction.
He admitted to me recently, when I asked him, that he does sometimes find it dificult to end contact with OW. I jsut don't understand it. I just don't. I just hope and pray that with this new job of his and the fact that he won't be seeing her at work, that eventually their contact will fade away. I think that's what he's waiting for as well. I think he knows that he's not strong enought to just cut the contact for good.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
