Just wanted to send you some love and appreciation for who you are. I know this move is the best thing for you right now, in so many ways. I know sometimes it is hard. But of the two of you (you and your H), you are getting the better deal. You are going somewhere new and fresh, you will be so freed up once you get there and begin building your wonderful life with S in the beach town. You have made brilliant choices, that I know will serve you into your future. And you have continued to live your values and display such grace and class.
I really look forward to hearing all about your new digs! I am in the process of turning my house upside down, new windows, paint, trims, dry wall, siding, everything new. It is the start of a new phase in my life journey, and it is exciting how my home is reflecting my shift.
So good for you AH. Hang in there! Once you have every box at the new place, you will really be in the spot of making a great home and life for you and your S. I am sending my love! Keep picking off that "to-do" list.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I've lost it. Trying to get S14 to actually sort and choose, and to pack even a little, we had frustration, anger, and I am just past it all.
I left H a phone message, soft but sarcastic, told him I wish he was here to see the anger and the frustration, and to see the effect on his family. Told him I hope he was happy, that I hoped he was getting what he wanted, and that he was proud.
Bad AH. It felt briefly good, now just stupid. Oh well. Not my first stupid act, not my last.
I've been melting down slowly all day. EVen with two walks. I should have seen it coming, and probably should expect far less of S14. I'm just tired of doing it all, going through it, and feeling it all by myself.
I am so angry, and most so, so sad, and feel rejected and like a failure and a loser. Time to release those negative emotions and feel something else. Hah. Easy to say and to know, harder to do.
I am glad you left the phone message, Gosh we are not Dbing zombies, we do have to be normal. (just don't make a habit of it )
You are totally awesome. so much on your plate. Sometimes I just look over at the luandry and I can't do it. I can't imagine moving. But you did it , and you should feel proud of yourself.
I am keeping every picture, Puffy lost his rights to the memories.
“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
You just say the word.....I'll be there. If your having doubt about meeting someone from the board....don't, I have credentials... Liss, Vali, Matt, Mrs,Peaceful, Ever & Simon! I'm harmless
Meeting someone from the board is a Godsend. Even if we are just standing around throwing stuff into boxes...it's ok. hell, I'll have you drive up here when it's my turn.
Just remember, you are loved.....you are special. We are here.
Don't make me call you!!!
smooches sweet one
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I'm sorry you're having a tough day, but of course it's normal. I would also want to call my H and tell him what you did! I know the feeling of regretting it afterwards; for me, it's because I don't want him to know the pain I'm in, but you are human, after all.
Moving is always stressful, and the circumstances you're doing it in make it more so. And getting a teenager to do anything...well, that's a stress in and of itself.
Just toss all his stuff into a garbage bag and tell him it's all going out. That should get him to sort through it!!!
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
((((((((((AH))))))))))) You know it is said that right after a breakdown, comes a breakthrough. Everybody has tough days, rough days, days when we do stupid or mean things. This will pass, maybe it already has? A good night's sleep (or two!) can do wonders - are you getting any of those? I hope you will have a better day today. Meanwhile, keep up your walking and try to eat healthy. Take some deep breaths. Hug S and tell him you have been stressed, and you are sorry - everything will work out fine.
Better days are ahead, AH, and you are almost there! And you are loved...
I wish there was something else I could say and do to help. But truth is, you are really doing just fine, this is all just part of it. We are with you
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I'm sorry you had a bad time last night. I agree with Liss. Don't worry about the message you left. She's right, we aren't zombies! At this point who cares if you dump some guilt on him.
I wish I could come down and help. I've moved more times than you'd believe. I'm an expert. I'll bet Jeanette and I could have you packed in no time!
I hope today is better. I liked what PL said about after a breakdown comes a breakthrough. That's what we'll hope for.
Big, Big Hugs, Sun
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
I am so sorry...this is so tough. I remember moving out (in like 24 hours) - it was unreal.
We're in the same boat...I recently got all my things from storage and am now going through each box. Lots of letters, pictures and memories. Hard to really read and look at now....seems so unreal. It's not as sad, b/c it's like looking at another person that I thought I once knew.
For me, what was easier was not to face all the details at the moment. I just took what I could initially (1 year ago) and recently, I took all the things that were mine. If H's stuff is mingled, I will give it back to him later, when I am able to go through the things in a more stable state (and when he's not such a lunatic, but I may be waiting forever for that one! Let's not hold our breath!).
Sometimes, in addition to feeling like we are the cause of the demise of the M and the feelings of failure, we take it on to save the M, and now that transfers to being the one to do the separation and move. Our spouses have cleanly placed us in a position of picking up the pieces for EVERYTHING. The M, the move, the saving the M....and we become so used to it.
But, there aer ways we can pull ourselves out of that.
If this is too much, and too frustrating...can you call H and talk to him (I know...a miracle in itself) and ask him to work with you on making this easier? Can he come on a weekend when you are not there and pack up things he wants? Work with S14 while you are out taking a break?
Seriously think of these options, if possible at all.
Again, this might also be a good opportunity to work on the communication b/w you and H (since you mentioned that was an issue and he is not quite the raving lunatic MLCer). If nothing else, it would help with co-parenting later, too. H likely does not know (or is choosing to be dense) about what stress this is causing you...he seems the type to back off and be Mr. Non-Communicative b/c he thinks he's doing you a favor and "making it easy"...perhaps if he was directed a little more to participate, he would?
Maybe he can help S14 pack up his stuff and room? A nice father/son activity?
As much as you can delegate to H, the instigator of this, the better.
We are with you