Well guys, it was a good day yesterday. I just decided (and with everyone's support here) that I need to simply eat the A and redouble my DBing efforts. So, yesterday afternoon my W calls and tells me we're going out to dinner with MIL and FIL...their treat (Claim Jumper ). So I said great and that when we were done with dinner, I was going to go do my own thing. I just needed some space. She was fine with it. Naturally, like before, I was vague about what I was going to do. It seems to get her thinking.
So, during dinner my W was sitting very close to (really against) me. I was Mr. Funloving jethro too during dinner with the ILs, so it was fun. I had to do this because if I'm quiet she'll know that I'm not right. This is/has been my MO. It seemed to work because the last two days of her distance seemed to fade quite a bit.
We go home together to get kids ready for bed. I grab a couple gift certificates that I got for Xmas and my book off of my nightstand. My latest book was sitting on top of Love Languages when I grabbed it. Now, like I told you guys, I asked my W to read this. So, briefly I thought, "hmmm...maybe I should put this on her pillow?" But then reality told me, "no, that's pressure." So, I just left it there hoping she'd pick it up.
I go out to Tower Records and get a Portishead CD, then off to Guitar Center to drool over the latest guitars and gizmos. Guitar Center closed, so I headed over to Border Books, got a cup of tea and read my book. It's actually one recommended by Soup called the "8 Steps of Happiness"...based on Buddhism. It's pretty good.
Borders closes and I go home. W is asleep upstairs, so I dink around for a while (computer and book). When I go to bed I go to place my latest book on top of the nightstand, and low and behold, Love Languages is no longer there! She read some of it! In fact, when we woke this morning she said that she was reading it last night. I asked what she thought and she simply said that she thought it was good.
I also read and recommended that she read one of Michele's other books: "Change Your Life and Everyone in It: How to: Transform Difficult Relationships, Overcome Anxiety and Depression, Break Free from Self-Defeating Ways of Thinking, Feeling, and Acting." I loaned it to her mom, but it's a great book because Michele gets into how change is illicited through actions. My W needs a kind of kick in the butt because she is so sedentary sometimes about doing stuff (except working out)...I think a bit insecure about failure. This is one of those things we have had countless discussions on and is at the core of her problems. She's simply unhappy with herself and has been for some time. That's why her getting the job a couple of months ago was so important. Anyway, she said she'd read that book too. Thank goodness she's a bookworm!
In any case, when I got into work this morning, I had a voice mail from my W. I guess my D (4) called her a "sh!thead" this morning just to try it out! My W thought it was pretty funny, but my D was in a TO. I have no idea where she heard that one... Maybe my S? Anyway, I thought you guys would think that was funny.
All in all, I can't complain about yesterday or this morning. I'm going to try and keep up the PMA and DBing efforts.
). So I said great and that when we were done with dinner, I was going to go do my own thing. I just needed some space. She was fine with it. Naturally, like before, I was vague about what I was going to do. It seems to get her thinking.