so hard piecing, mark in uk

[toughlover]

(the only reason i used to get angry was because my wife bottles up her feelings!)

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I had/have an anger management problem as well...and I think it's more accurate to say that you allowed your anger at not getting what you wanted from her to determine your behavior. You can choose to handle it constructively, or not. I think for a lot of us anger can be a little like addiction in that it's so much easier, and feels better right now, to blow up than to work through it peacefully within ourselves.

A lot of people will tolerate almost anything to some degree, but anger just makes them want to run away.

i am listening to her and keeping my mouth shut, i am using her love languages, Acts of service and Words of affirmation 100% but even when i do these she sneers! maybe thinking they are just to get her back!!?????

You ARE doing it to get her back! But you're (hopefully) also trying to change and make it a more natural part of your behavior. But if you're doing it for the right reasons (because you want to, because you care about her), then you need to be happy for the opportunity to do it, and realize it's always been HER choice whether to accept it, or not. Always has been. At this point, you just need to do it, be happy about it, and ignore her response as best you can.

Always remember that many people here are separated and rarely even see their spouse, so the fact that she's even working on getting back to 100% is a great sign.

I have a high sex drive, and no touch or ML is killing me! you see im of the frame of mind if you want to give it a try, give it a try 100% dive in feet first!

I suspect, and this is just a guess, ok, but when she says "she's working on it" what she really means is, "she's working on getting to where she CAN dive in 100%." Again, be greatful that she's that far along the road. It could be much worse at this point.

I'm almost a year into this piecing stuff and it does get a little easier every day. Just remember you're doing this for you. The more I worked on fixing myself without focusing on what I thought was wrong with my W, the better things got for me, and it just ended up being a bonus that my W decided to rejoin me, and now things are pretty good for both of us.

But last summer, I couldn't even imagine we'd still be together right now, much less be as happy as we are. Last summer, she couldn't stand to be near me, and I was just a walking ball of anger, hurt feelings, and resentment.

Now things are 180 degrees different. It ain't perfect, and we still have a long way to go, but we both feel like we're getting there, and doing it together as well as individually.

Sounds to me like you're alot like I was. If you can deal with your own anger and get to where you're emotionally independent and detached, where you derive your self-worth from your own accomplishments and attitude instead of the level of attention you get (or don't get) from your wife, you'll definitely feel better. And you'll just naturally act better. And as long as you take the high road, things will get better for you no matter what your wife does.