I won't be around much. I just want to say one more time that intense narrow focus on a possible EA is very counterproductive. The possible EA is not the source of the problems in your M. If you look at HOW MUCH attention is being paid to this here versus the other various deep betrayals of how spouses should treat each other you have BOTH been engaged in these last five years or more, it should be obvious something is out of whack.
Please just read DR before making any decisions here.
I really have my fingers crossed that your W is going to buy into working on the M. BUT don't push her on this AT ALL.
If she does, look for help in Piecing. If she doesn't, Try Separated or Infidelity, whichever makes the most sense.
If you are interested, you can find most of the advice that I would probably give you in Grasshopper's threads in Infidelity and Piecing. Regardless of my input on his threads, they would probably be VERY useful to you. His W had an EA/PA with her trainer after she got in shape at the gym... He now has a great M, better than it has ever been.
