AC, for me (been married over 25 yrs) affection and intimacy changed dramatically after the 2nd baby was born. Before that things were great. I think the kids played a big part in our issues - only because we were both so dedicated to them and worried they would hear us, etc. That is unfortunate and has festered in our R now for many years - something we just never corrected and now he wants a D. There's never been anyone else for either of us but I know that intimacy is a big part of our problems. Of course H says I rejected HIM and I say it was him, but that's besides the point now. There are 2 sides to every story.
I think it's great that you are looking to take action on this matter now in your M. You both need to or you will be in for a very unhappy M or worse yet D. If I had to do it again, I would definitely have talked openly with my H and/or sought out some sort of counseling.
Definitely do something post haste. Don't let it fester.
