I'm probably not the best one to post, as my wife and I haven't made love in 3 years, and only about twice in the past 5 years. My situation is remarkably similar to yours (she used to be high-desire, but it stopped after kids; she's attracted to younger men; it takes an act of Congress to get her aroused, etc.) but with one MAJOR difference:
Ours is a totally AFFECTIONLESS marriage, whereas with you guys, the touch and affection and even some flirtation seems to be there, and then it never goes anywhere from there.
That tells me that she has some purely SEXUAL issues, and you should set up an appt. with a sex therapist, in my opinion. If she won't go, go alone, and get some help for yourself, and then INSIST that she go with you the next time, and play the "for the sake of the kids' future" card if you have to.
Do you know if there was any sexual abuse in her past, or anything strange in the sexual relationship between her parents?
