I agree with Heywyre. I don't think it is a matter of what is right and what is wrong. People just have different likes and dislikes. What can be right or wrong is the way you communicate your likes and dislikes to your spouse. Figuring out what you need to change about yourself to get your spouse to change is tricky. Sometimes the desired change happens. Sometimes you have to change yourself in a way that you can learn do without whatever change isn't happening in your spouse.
So far, I have seen a lot of positive changes in my H since I have changed some of my ways. He has become a much better listener, for one. I was able to talk to him about the possibility of trying antidepressants last night. He didn't agree with me, but he didn't get mad either. We talked about it in a very civilized manner. I mentioned that going on ADs could make our relationship a little better. He said, "I thought you were happy!?" I said, "I am happy; but I do still want those same things I've talked about through most of our marriage. I just don't focus on them as much." He said that he understood, but he was reading e-mails at the same time, so I let it go. I hope the message still got across.
Is there anyone out there who has a spouse who wasn't as affectionate as you would like but has become so?
Blackfrost, have you read any of Michelle's books, yet? How about Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman?
