Update. Our sex life is non-existent these days so I asked my H this morning if there was something that I needed to know. He said no and why do I ask. I told him that we're not having sex and it is a red flag to me. He said, well, I need to fix this.
I know with all my heart that my H truely loves me and that he truely sorry for how he hurt me. I also see how hard he's trying. Why then, can't I just enjoy it. Our R is good. We are the best of friends, but for some reason it just doesn't seem like enough for me. I pray every morning for "wisdom". Pretty much that's it. Not to heal my M anymore, but wisdom. The practical side of me says, run, don't walk. Then, the emotional side says, I really enjoy his company and our R more than I would enjoy being divorsed from him. So you see, it's a constant battle within myself. I'm tired of the battle, but yet I can't seem to shake it. Is this God trying to answer my prayer by giving me this battle, that wisdom (my mind) should overcome my emotions and I should run? Any help with this one? I stay confused and can't stay focused. Thanks.
