LP and GEL are correct. responding with dont contact me, is incongruent. Its a mixed message and words are very rarely the truthful part of a mixed message. I never listen to what a woman says when it contradicts what her subcommunication is saying. Its part of my not respecting them. This man (as little as he talked about how he felt about me) gave me a part of my self-esteem that was sorely missing when I separated.
not differentiated He GAVE you?
It would also be a good time for a new email address and to lose the old one. Even if it is some trouble to do so. actually 2 years ago would have been a better time. but that closes the door for real, and that doesnt feel good.
So I push, and I test, and I still get no response from him. That is not what I want in a M partner. It kills my soul.
Thats a good post for guys to see. Now, Im going to turn it back at you.
Keep doing what doesnt work. Thats sensible.
I post and talk about how doing nothing is a terrible idea, not leading and not taking control of your life is terribly unattractive. Ive handed it out on the tip of a 2x4 on occasion. That being said, I completely comprehend your H, LFL and Choc. Being forced to 'top her top' is not doing him a favor, and is not attractive. There is zero appreciation and respect shown with that behavior. It would be nice to see some of the ladies in the know, point it out. If there are no ladies in the Know, that has merit too.
Try something that works, like showing some honesty that makes you vulnerable. Like asking him to post here. I'd want him to tell her to F*ck off. So take your own advice. Why would he tell someone who was there for him at a low point in his life and probably said things like ' I just want you to be happy' to F off?
He made me feel sexy, attractive, desirable, smart,...wanted not differentiated. he MADE you feel?
I'm not up for that even if he would Nop. I can only handle so much right now. Well at least you are honest with us. I watch your thoughts here LFL, and I think Thats exactly why never again, and Im hard on you (boy was I brutal when you first came. lol) but when I look at just your IRL actions, Im forced to admit I respect you. a little bit. a squidge.
That being said; My greatest "emotional need" is sex - connected sex. It is basically my only need from my wife, I can get by without much else. That makes me a bit odd, but it does fit with my sex drive being what it is.
Yes, though I will say I miss little other things. Its the only need that forces me to be dependant on a specific person, during marriage.
Quote:"You probably didn't mean this exactly the way it sounded."
LOL. NOP, how dare you express yourself from a mans POV. IF you want to express yourself, you must do it how the ladies want you to so YOU dont hurt their feelings.
It sounded like "the only thing I need from her (or need her for) is sex." Which sounded cold and not reflective of how you clearly feel about her OH CRIPES. since its so obvious that you care deeply for Mrs. Nop from your actions, its even more important that you be extra extra careful of how they interpret your words. Because after all its more important to say warm things and be cold then to say cold things and be warm.
SG I don’t think OM is a bad person, nor do I even think it was an affair – to me, a legally separated person may date, and I don’t care a whit if I’m in the minority here.
So I can add M women to my list of acceptable people to date? As long as I encourage them to work on things with their H should the situation arise? You mean Ive had that boundary all this time for no good reason? Does it apply to only Legally Seperated, or does seperated count too. How long do they have to be seperated? How about 'thinking' about seperating'? How about 'not happy and emotionally seperated'? Think of all the ladies I could be personally responsible for restoring their self esteem to. Wow, Id actually be doing them a favor. Id be 'THE HERO!'
Ok sarcasm aside, how can you trust someone who throws the onus for their emotions on you?
