Here's the email I sent to H. I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted.
H, The only way I have to describe to you how I feel is to tell you that you’ve broken my heart. I’m here in Vegas, I’m surrounded by a million people, so much going on. But my mind is preoccupied, I’m insatiably sad. Half naked women on billboards remind me how much you’d like it here. Tears seem to fall with no warning. I wanted to give things between us another year, another year for us to reassess and work on our problems and then we could see where we stood. I thought we were on our way! I thought we were on the right path and I have been happier than I can remember feeling in years. But you’ve hurt me. And you’ve lied to me. And now you want to tell me that it’s not up for discussion. When two people are in a marriage, there is no such luxury as ‘not up for discussion’. What you are doing is wrong. The movies, internet, pictures, the lying and hiding. What good is another year if we are not giving it our all? I know that I cannot be a wife in the long term to somebody who has shown such disregard for my feelings and who has disrespected me in such a deep way. By not getting rid of those movies and telling me that what you do is none of my business, you are not committing to this effort. I love you and I want to be with you. I am willing to give this everything I have. Everything. Are you?
Heather
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
